


sufficiency

by izzieee



Series: love is [3]
Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Hinata deserves the world, Hyuuga Hinata-centric, Pregnancy, Translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 20:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21434152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzieee/pseuds/izzieee
Summary: When her mother had Hanabi and was so happy that she cried and smiled and looked like the most beautiful thing to ever grace the earth, little Hinata knew that in that moment, she was the happiest person in the world. Growing up, she thought she would never feel that much happiness again. But now she felt it.
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: love is [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541821
Comments: 6
Kudos: 129





	sufficiency

Hinata felt her blood run cold and her stomach drop as she paced the room.

It had been twenty-seven minutes since Shikamaru and Ino arrived from the mission and came to tell her that part of the team was behind but on their way. Which meant Naruto was about to arrive.

After three months. _Three months._

The long period of time was enough to explain the anxiety building in her. The longing, the worry, the anticipation. But in addition to all this was the fact that three months ago, she created a secret that was kept for when he arrived. A secret that was already suffocating her.

First came the cramps and abdominal pain. Then she felt swollen, with excessive salivation, turning her nose to strong smells, feeling sick with her favorite foods. She _knew_ before she knew. She saw Kurenai go through all this.

She used her byakugan and saw a speck, the embryo, stuck to the walls of the womb. Her baby.

Since then, her belly has grown considerably. She found out at five weeks. Now the baby was over four months old and people began to notice her belly even with the baggy clothes she wore.

People smiled so much when they saw her belly. She was proud of herself for carrying a life. She felt strong, capable, brave. She felt filled with love.

She already loved her baby.

She worried about being young. About being a kunoichi. About never having to take care of anything or anyone in that way.

But she always wanted that. She remembered her mother, rocking Hanabi on her lap, her eyes shining with tears.

"What is it, mom? Is it hurting?" Little Hinata asked, seeing her little sister being breastfed.

"No, Hinata." Her mother laughed, tears still streaming down her face. "I'm very happy."

Her mother leaned her head on her shoulder and Hinata pressed her head against her mother looking at Hanabi and thinking_ I am the happiest person in the world._

Then her mother died. In a way, so did her father. And in another, so did she.

Hanabi was kept away because she had to train more, do more, be more. Because Hinata was stuck in her mourning. Because she lowered her eyes fast and didn't want to hurt anyone. Because she was too much like her mother.

"You'll end up having the same end as her." Her father said one day. The sentence was as cold as his tone. She held on until she reached her room. She cried against the pillow until she felt her feelings drifting into sleep, where she dreamed of her mother smiling and crying and saying_ I'm very happy._

Then came Neji, who charmed her for being smart and strong and _kind_, even if he tried to hide it. She loved him. He loved her back.

Until his father died in Hiashi's place. Until he realized his inferior place in the clan. He realized that he had been branded, prevented from acting for himself, placed in a position of bondage. He hated her and she didn't blame him. She felt no grudge. She understood. And it hurted even more.

Even when he humiliated her, when he said all the words that echoed those of her father in front of an arena and had to be stopped by four senseis - _she understood._

She was grateful for her team. They were not the most popular or the strongest. Everyone found them weird. She was used to it anyway.

"Hinata." Kiba bent over a little. "You trained hard today."

"It is true." Shino said behind his high collar coat. "You did well. But I think it's enough for today. The knuckles of your fingers are bleeding."

She watched her bloody hands, feeling the pain spread as she opened her fists.

"Hinata, be careful." Kurenai put a hand on her shoulder, stroking lightly. "You don't have to hurt yourself like this."

She nodded, a little red. A little ashamed of having gone astray, but even more so of the distant feeling of people caring. People looking twice at her.

To be fair, she did a lot to hide. She was afraid of showing too much of herself because she knew rejection would come. For the mediocre ninja she was. For the inability to be a clan leader. For not knowing how to feel superior when she was born to be worshiped.

She felt a little better when she saw that boy, too small for his loud voice, with his blue eyes and golden threads pointing everywhere. Everyone saw him as she saw himself, but he always proved otherwise. He trusted himself when no one else did. What others saw as stupidity and arrogance she saw as perseverance.

"Hinata, don't you think Sasuke is beautiful?" Ino asked with an exaggerated sigh. It was funny to remember those times when Ino thought she liked Sasuke. Now she simply feigned gagging as they quoted her old summer crush.

"Ahhh...Y-yes. He...uh, he's handsome." She said, not facing Ino.

"Oh, pig, she doesn't like him like me! She likes _Naruto._" Sakura emphasized the name with disdain. Hinata felt herself blush.

"Ew, Hinata." Ino grimaced. "You'll find someone better to like one day."

Sakura and Ino continued to talk, with quarrels that were nothing, because even then, Hinata could see how much they cared for each other.

But at that moment Hinata could only think that part of her wanted to like someone else. Part of her wanted to get rid of that love. But another part of her clung to it, clung into everything he showed himself to be, and it made her brave.

She was brave enough to look death in the eye and say _catch me if you can._ Brave enough to forgive Neji without him asking for forgiveness. Enough to do the same for her father. Enough to remain kind in a world that denied her kindness. It took her too long to see strength in it but when the time came, she loved herself for the first time.

"You will never have to doubt your worth, my little angel." She put her hand against her belly and whispered to her baby.

"No one will ever leave you. No one will ever hurt you without me showing you that you will always be protected. All right? You can be anything you want. In all your paths, I will accompany you until you can go without me. And yet you will always have a home to return to. A house full of people who love you."

She was crying now. She wished she had heard that from her father. She wished she had returned home after missions and received a hug. She braced herself every day thinking that after a successful one he might consider her enough. But his arms were never open.

"I...I'll do everything to be the best mom for you." She hugged her own belly.

From the door came a snap and she closed her eyes. She knew who it was and she took a deep breath, not bothering to hold back tears. She didn't need to contain anything. Never again. She was free to be who she wanted to be.

"Hinata?" She almost sobbed at that sound. She turned around right away and saw the face she loved so much. She approached slowly, because her world seemed in slow motion, and she put her hands on his cheek and smiled at the thought of the baby inheriting his whiskers. She looked into his blue eyes and smiled even more, mounting an image of a smiling child with eyes like his.

He breathed slowly, a little stunned and breathless. They were a mess of feelings opposing and mingling, and they spent a long time looking into each other's eyes, frozen in the front door.

"Hinata...Hime." He leaned his forehead against hers and his hands went over her face, tracing her eyes, nose and mouth as if to remember her expressions. He kissed her forehead behind her bangs and she surrendered to his arms, feeling everything calm down. The sunlight came from the window and illuminated both of them. She felt like she was in a movie where everything is so good and beautiful that you feel the surrealism, the fiction inside the screen. But this was as real as it gets. 

"Naruto." She pulled his hands from her face and held them while smiling so wide that he smiled back. She took his hands under her sweater and left them there. So he could feel it. Their miracle, their gift from and to the world. Their love.

She saw all the feelings written on his face as a narrative. First his mouth opened and his chest puffed out. He blinked several times, taking his gaze from his hands against Hinata's torso to her eyes. He let his breath out, gently. His eyes burned and he gave her the most genuine smile; and then, finally, he cried.

He kept his hands there in her belly, squeezing a little, though gently, and his face buried in Hinata's chest. She felt his tears as she kissed the top of his head, her indigo hair hiding them like a veil.

She saw the sun through the window and felt serenity. She closed her eyes, and yet the light was still there, hugging her and inside her.

[...]

"Thank you, Hina. For everything." She was on her side, with a pillow between her legs to make her more comfortable. Naruto's hand circled her waist and his face pressed against her hair. He placed a kiss against the back of her neck.

"Don't thank me for anything, Naruto." She snuggled against him, feeling his breath against her neck. It was irregular. He was anxious.

She turned and hugged him.

"I _need_ to thank you for everything." He looked like he was about to cry, but when she looked into his face he could only see his eyes shining. "You are the strongest person in the world. You have a heart that can crush this whole village and you chose to share it with me."

"And you, with me." She kissed his lips. "We're both very lucky, I think."

A few years ago, she would never say that anyone was lucky to receive something from her. She didn't think she was enough for that. But now she knew she was. _I'm the happiest person in the world, Mom_, she thought.

"The three of us are."

**Author's Note:**

> caaan you feeeel the loooove toniiiight  
and yeah i'm still on my mission to bring more nh content to the world. looking foward to 2020 since tumblr declared it naruhina year!!! as we say in brazilian portuguese: finalmente os refrescos


End file.
